The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.
The answer by one student was so ‘profound’ that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well :
Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let’s look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, ‘It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,’ and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct……leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting ‘Oh my God.’
So if there is one thing I have learned in the course of the past year and a half, it would be to follow your heart. Trust me, it sucks to have those “What if” moments. What if I… or what if this… blah blah blah. It all started out with one thing, which led to another, which led to another, which eventually led to the present. I only have one regret in life. It’s one of those, “what if” moments. If I had another chance, I would go back in a heartbeat to change it. But, I can’t. That’s life, you don’t have second chances. That’s why you do what you want to do. Don’t stall and wait, you might lose your chance. As I write this, so many “what ifs” are storming through my scattered mind. I don’t know what to think anymore, it just gets more and more confusing; more and more complicated; day after day, week after week.
So, I was talking to my friend today, helping him out. Then I got into talking about personal experiences. Talking about all that stuff almost made me cry. I was tearing up. I guess some things never change, especially in this situation. I was looking forward to it, but now, it’s not apprehensible. El cambio es a veces lo mejor. I keep this thought in my mind, hoping and praying that it’s true. Sometimes, I don’t think it is; other days, I do. I just I could repeat it, just once, I would trade anything to do it.
Professor : You are a Christian, aren’t you, son? Student : Yes, sir. Professor : So, you believe in GOD? Student : Absolutely, sir. Professor : Is GOD good? Student : Sure. Professor : Is GOD ALL - POWERFUL? Student : Yes. Professor : My Brother died of cancer even though he prayed to GOD to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But GOD didn’t. How is this GOD good then? Hmm?
(Student was silent)
Professor : You can’t answer, can you? Let’s start again, young fella. Is GOD Good? Student : Yes. Professor : Is Satan good? Student : No. Professor : Where does Satan come from? Student : From…GOD… Professor : That’s right. Tell me son, is there evil in this World? Student : Yes. Professor : Evil is everywhere, isn’t it? And GOD did make everything. Correct? Student : Yes. Professor : So who created evil?
(Student did not answer)
Professor : Is there Sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the World, don’t they? Student : Yes, sir. Professor : So, who created them?
(Student had no answer)
Professor : Science says you have 5 Senses you use to Identify and Observe The World around you. Tell me, son…have you ever feen GOD? Student : No, sir. Professor : Tell us if you have ever heard your GOD? Student : No, sir. Professor : Have you ever Felt your GOD, Tasted your GOD, Smelt your GOD? Have you ever had any Sensory Perception of GOD for that matter? Student : No, sir. I’m afraid I haven’t. Professor : Yet you still believe in HIM? Student : Yes. Professor : According to Empirical, Testable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says your GOD doesn’t exist. What do you say to that, son? Student : Nothing. I only have my Faith. Professor : Yes, Faith. And that is the problem Science has.
Student : Professor, is there such a thing as Heat? Professor : Yes. Student : And is there such a thing as Cold? Professor : Yes. Student : No, sir. There isn’t…
(The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events)
Student : Sir, you can have Lots of Heat, even More Heat, Superheat, Mega Heat, White Heat, a Little Heat or No Heat. But we don’t have anything called Cold. We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero Which is No Heat, but we can’t go any further after that. There is no such thing as Cold. Cold is only a Word we use to describe the Absence of Heat. We cannot Measure Cold. Heat is Energy. Cold is Not the Opposite of Heat, sir, just the Absence of it.
(There was pin-drop dilence in the Lecture Theatre)
Student : What about Darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as Darkness? Professor : Yes. What is Night if there isn’t Darkness? Student : You’re wrong again, sir. Darkness is the Absence of Something. You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light… But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and its Called Darkness, isn’t it? In reality, Darkness isn’t. If it is, You would be able to make Darkness Darker, wouldn’t you? Professor : So what is the point you are making, young man? Student : Sir, my point is, your Philosophical Premise is flawed. Professor : Flawed? Can you explain how? Student : Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality. You argue There is Life and then there is Death, a Good GOD and a Bad GOD. You are Viewing the Concept of GOD as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can’t even explain a Thought. It uses Electricity and Magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view Death as the Opposite of Life is to be ignorant of the fact that Death cannot exist as a Substantive Thing. Death is Not the Opposite of Life, just the Absence of it Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your Students that they evolved from a Monkey? Professor : If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes, of course, I do. Student : Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going)
Student : Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and Cannot even prove that this Process is an On-Going Endeavor, Are you not teaching your Opinion, sir? Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?
(The Class was in uproar)
Student : Is there anyone in the Class who has ever seen the Professor’s brain?
(The Class broke out into laughter)
Student : Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor’s brain, felt it, touched or smelt it?…
No one appears to have done so. So, according to the Established Rules of Empirical, Stable, Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have No Brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The Room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable)
Professor : I guess you’ll have to take them on Faith, son. Student : That is it sir…Exactly! The Link between Man & GOD is FAITH. That is all that Keeps Things Alive and Moving.
“Love, its going to be the most wonderful, painful, lost time of your life. You’ll do things you never expected to do. You’ll feel things you never felt. Your mind will be lost in a million direction. You’ll have ups and downs, days where you’ll wanna throw your phone through a wall, and days where you’ll float almost to heaven. It’s going to turn you mad, turn you into a monster, but it can also turn your life into one of the greatest stories anyone could ever hear. If you choose to fight for what you love, choose to love the right way then I promise you each battle, each tear, and each scar won’t even matter.”—Unknown (via foryoutonotice)
I know it is coming, and I do not fear it, because I believe there is nothing on the other side of death to fear. I hope to be spared as much pain as possible on the approach path. I was perfectly content before I was born, and I think of death as the same state. What I am grateful for is the gift of intelligence, and for life, love, wonder, and laughter. You can’t say it wasn’t interesting. My lifetime’s memories are what I have brought home from the trip. I will require them for eternity no more than that little souvenir of the Eiffel Tower I brought home from Paris.
I don’t expect to die anytime soon. But it could happen this moment, while I am writing. I was talking the other day with Jim Toback, a friend of 35 years, and the conversation turned to our deaths, as it always does. “Ask someone how they feel about death,” he said, “and they’ll tell you everyone’s gonna die. Ask them, In the next 30 seconds? No, no, no, that’s not gonna happen. How about this afternoon? No. What you’re really asking them to admit is, Oh my God, I don’t really exist and I might be gone at any given second.
”— An excerpt entitled “Go Gentle Into That Good Night” from Roger Ebert’s journal.
One fine summer day, Chuck was on myspace and came across someone he thought he knew, so he added her. Turns out that it was Shakira, one of his friend’s friends. They started talking and soon enough became acquainted with each other. They saw each other at marching band practices over the summer, but never really talked. As the school year progressed, they talked more and more and mid-year, became very close friends. Then what do you know, an opportunity came up for more hanging out, the band trip! That year,the band was going to Disneyland. They were so excited! Hanging out for a few days with everyone else. Well, there was this one particular night when he really got to know her, while eating at Pizza Port, along with Kimberly, Ivan, Annie, and Damien. They all laughed non-stop for the longest time. The school year ended, and came summer. Chuck & Shakira became really good friends. Chuck would just like to say that Shakira is one of the nicest and sweetest people that he has ever met. Shakira has helped Chuck through all the ups and downs and he has also helped her. Shakira, don’t worry about anything that’s going on right now, you know that it will all get better. It’s okay (: We’re in the same boat, don’t worry, we’ll both get off and land sooner or later.