Ut Sementem Feeceris.

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There comes a point in life where you realize what works for you and what doesn’t work. Your methods may not be the same as others and them not the same as you. You may do things that may only make sense in your mind. Others will probably find it strange, but it’s okay because you’ll get the answers that you’re looking for…

I’ve been working on a project, and some may like to call it… a personal project. It’s taken a long time to get the answer that I need, but tonight, I did it- I got the answer. It may have been somewhat awkward getting there, and the explanation may be a little rough, but… I’m happy. I literally just realized how happy I am. I’ve been so pessimistic about everything lately, but today really changed that. I literally had the best day ever and now I’ve done something to help me… break free. I couldn’t resist it anymore (excuse the Ariana Grande reference). That’s what one of my goals was for this vacation- to see if I could break free from the shackles I put myself in many months ago. And… I did it. It’s 2:00am and I’m laying in bed, just ecstatic. I literally just want to go outside and run around right now!!!

I have an amazing life with amazing people in it:

My family: They’re a bunch of babbling baboons. But in reality, they are so much fun. We’re not a typical family, but I’m happy with that. We’re all so open with each other and I absolutely love it. We have the best time just hanging around the house, singing karaoke; and don’t even get me started in our dinner conversations! I know we’ll be there for each other whenever anyone needs it and although we show it in very odd ways, we all love each other so much. I love them so much more than they probably think I do. I would do anything for my family. I love you all so much.

My friends: I’ve learned throughout my teenage years how to “mold” your friend group very carefully. Everyone wishes to find that “group” they can call their home away from home. I believe I have that group of people. One thing I did before I left for vacation was make a literal circle of friends. What you do is write your name in the middle of a blank sheet of paper. You then write the names of your closest friends around your name, and then just start writing other names around their names. The point of this is to really see who your “circle of friends” are. The names that automatically come to mind are your best friends. Once you have them, you can start to figure out who are you friends and who are just acquaintances. As much of a social butterfly that I am, I have a small circle of people that come to mind that make the cut for that “inner circle.” My best friends know who they are. I just want to tell you all how much I love you and how much you mean to me. I would not be the person I am without y’all.

These people are the ones that make me want to wake up every morning. They’re the ones who make me want to become a better person. They’re the ones I know will be there if anything were to ever happen. Thanks so much for being in my life. I’m at a crossroads right nice and I’m going to choose the path that will bring me happiness.

Night y’all. ✌️